Want to know if you're not smart? TV can help.

The great Jim Rome once said, "If you don't hate reality TV, you're not smart."

Let's not go quite that far. But let's use TV to tell you if you're not smart.

If you prefer Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? to Jeopardy, you're not smart. It means you prefer about 10 multiple choice questions surrounded by a lot of inane chatter, a lot of gimmicks, and a lot of time wasting about nothing to a show featuring up to 61 challenging questions with only a little bit of inane chatter and gimmicks based on word play. Or you have a thing for Meredith. I guess that's OK. Maybe you're not stupid.

If you're one of the people responsible for making Two and a Half Men the most popular comedy on TV, but you've never seen an episode of Arrested Development, you're not smart.

If you ever preferred Home Improvement to Seinfeld, you're not smart. It means you prefer conventional structure, male stereotypes, and a guy grunting "OOHH, OOHH, OOHH!" to the perfection of comedy that is Seinfeld.

I don't think we need any standardized tests. We should just give kids a sheet of paper and tell them to list down their favorite and least favorite TV shows. The answers will tell us if they should go to college.

Also, if you think I'm a jerk for writing this, you're absolutely right and righteously indignant. To calm yourself down, just enjoy the photo of Sven Sundgaard from his bio at Kare 11. The soothing good looks of Mr. Sundgaard should bring you inner peace and freedom from anger at my hurtful words. He soothes me whenever he tells me about storms, hot weather, and goats.