Identity Theft

Pop culture is committing a serious crime against me--it is attempting to steal my identity. Growing up, I was the only kid in the class (in the school, in the town, etc) named Sadie. I was special. I was unique. People commented on my name all the time. "That's different!" they'd say. "My great-grandmother was named that," they'd mention. "That's a dog name..." they'd quip. Did I care? Not one bit. I was a special, individual person. In high school, nobody except my close friends even knew my last name. Why would they need to? Sadie is Sadie. I was almost like Prince (but less sexy, less musical, and less popular).

Recently, there has been an alarming trend: more and more people are naming their daughters Sadie. This is terrible news. It really makes me sick to my stomach. When I was born (1980), Sadie was the 657th most popular name in America, and in 2006, it was the 157th most popular (according to the Social Security Administration). This is no fluke. This is an epidemic.

To make matters worse, Hollywood is doing its part to further popularize my name. There are two movies in theatres right now with characters named Sadie--Knocked Up and License to Wed. To the makers of these films, I say: WORLDS ARE COLLIDING! YOU'RE KILLING INDEPENDENT SADIE! I bite my thumb in their general direction.

I strongly feel like my name, and particularly the fact that it is unique, is part of what makes me who I am. I have always felt really bad for people who have common names. And now I am going to be one of them. I wonder how Sven would feel if all the little boys in town had his name. The only other Sven I have ever heard of was Sven Sundgoat, the beloved pet of a fair-going pre-teen boy. I bet Sven loves having a special name. Enjoy it while you can, Sven. It may not last.