Names that sound made up: WCCO

Before looking at the news team at WCCO for made-up names, allow me to go on a rant.

As an English teacher, it is painful to listen to people that are PAID to use the English language make grammar mistakes.

Last night on MSNBC, I caught this spoken sentence: "A generation of prostitutes will do anything to keep themselves safe." The subject in this sentence is not the plural "prostitutes," but the singular "generation of prostitutes."* Therefore, it is not trying to keep "themselves" safe, it is trying to keep "itself" safe." There are paid writers and readers for this program, and it was not a live broadcast--there was time to revise and eliminate grammar mistakes. But the people at MSNBC did not do so.

Someday, perhaps, I'll do a bit on WHMFASS in which I watch a local news broadcast and document all the grammar errors I find. Certainly I make grammar errors all the time, including on this blog. However, if you start paying me to write this, and then give me extensive time to revise rather than just whipping out ideas, I bet I'll manage to get rid of them.

Anyway, on to the WCCO names.

WCCO seems to specifically find anchors with "John Houseman" names. On Seinfeld, Jerry refers to Alec Berg as a good John Houseman name. To me, this implies a name that is sturdy, reliable, and strong.

Bill Carlson? That's a John Houseman name, and we believe it's real.

Dennis Douda troubles us. Would parents with the last name "Douda" name their son "Dennis"? Maybe. People like alliteration, and as my son is named Fox Fischer, perhaps I have no position to judge. But I think it's made up.

Paul Douglas and Bill Hudson have good, real John Houseman names. Mark Rosen also seems real.

Frank Vascellero is fun to say. Try it. Vascellaro. Vascellaro. Good times. Good, real name times.

Don Shelby troubles us. We don't think it's real. The WCCO iconic anchor might have a made up name. At least it sounds like it.

Amelia Santaniello is also fun to say. So fun to say that we think it's real. We also think Karen Leigh is a real name.

Jeannette Trompeter? We hope it's real, because that's an odd choice for a made up name.

Terri Gruca is probably real, as is John Reger. Esme Murphy is another one of those fun to say names, and is probably fake.

Mike Fairbourne has to be made up. Has to be. It's a PERFECT name for a weatherman. Paul Huttner nad Chris Shaffer might be real.

Bob Rainey is probably real, but Mike Max? MIKE MAX! Two first names, both single syllable names starting with M. PHONY! PHONY! I'll try find out if this is real or fake. Remember, we have no idea when we go through these--we're guessing.

Now let's just list off the names of reporters we think are fake: Bridgette Bornstein (I never trust alliteration), Heather Brown, Lisa Kiava, and Ben Tracy (what are you, a comic book newspaper reporter?). Jason DeRusha's very candid and funny blog implies to us that his real name is Jason DeRusha.

What do you think?