5:59 We're looking for real news stories here. The guy at the fair is playing to the crowd about how something is special this year there. And every band loves the city it is playing in.
Story about some sort of criminal running around with a gun: real news 1
6:00 We're going top to bottom today: since nobody is reading right now, it will be easier if you want to read it later.
Terri is in studio. Or is it Teri? I don't even know if her name starts with T.
6:02 Governor proposing a new law: real news 2
Classes starting after flood, FEMA: real news 3
Rail service between Twin Cities and Chicago: real news 4
A bridge re-opening: real news 5
WCCO, you've already tied Kare 11 at 5:00 from yesterday!
6:04 Little leaguers spitting on their hands before shaking hands? No, not real news.
6:04 Senator in Greenland: real news 6
Holy crap: WCCO gave us 6 real news bits.
6:05 But we're five minutes in and now we're at the fair talking about 4H: I think real news is done.
6:05 WCCO doing a story about itself and its human powered newscast is not real news. That's like an MTV special about the history of MTV. It's just self-indulgent tripe.
6:07 Coming after the commercial: weather, fair food, fair garbabe. Yep, we got our fill of real news: now it's fair filler.
COMMERCIAL: It's not on now, but you know that commercial about how they're cracking down on drunk driving, and the guys' cars are full of booze? The guy with beer in his car is unshaven with a hat. The guy with martini in his car has a button up shirt. The guy with wine in his car has a nice car. Makes you think.
COMMERCIAL 2: I need to learn the names of these WCCO anchors if I'm going to live blog. Look at the blog title and guess what we usually watch. But now WCCO gives us 6 pits of news between 5:59 and 6:05; I'm starting to think it's real news. Luckily, they another 22 minutes or so to waste my time with commercials and stupid fair features, so I can remember that local TV news is still pointless.
6:10 We're back. A story about spicy food at the fair. Super hot jerky.
6:11 Fried fruit on a stick. Man, I hate my life. But I'll remember to have grapes with supper. And a big dip from the gallon jug of wine. That's what I need after watching this anchor eat fried fruit on a stick and tell me what it tastes like.
6:12 Some rubes eating corn on the cob.
6:13 Story about trash and recycling at the fair: do we count that as real news? No. Stories about the fair are still pointless. Well, this story does feature a lot on composting and background and interesting facts. Let's give it a half point. 6.5 real news stories.
6:14 WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY TALKING TO ME?
6:15 Weather. Dull. Why are we getting all this? I don't count weather as a real news story. If they gave us the weather in 30 seconds, I would. But they stretch it out for pointless filler.
More forecast on a stick. Good.
More weather. It's still going on. And what this chuck is saying really doesn't matter.
6:17 Weather. I'm really not on my A game right now: I've got nothing funny to say about anything. I'm weary of watching TV weather. It CAN be necessary to get the weather report--what's tomorrow like, what sort of forecast do we have for the week. But the amount of info they give us on TV weather really doesn't matter. But people want to see it. So they stretch it out and make it folksy and friendly. A normal, calm weather day just doesn't require much time on TV, but they give it to us anyway.
COMMERCIAL: Yesterday at 5:00 on Kare 11 there was an anti-war ad; today on WCCO there's a ridiculous--RIDICULOUS--pro-war ad. Specious logic and scare tactics. By the way, I'm a pacifist.
Back in studio with sports. I'm a sports fan, so I'd like to count this as real news. A preview of the Viking pre-season game. I really don't like pre-season, but I'll probably try finish off the beer people left here last weekend and watch some of it. Only two more weeks until the real season starts. I love the Vikings.
Baseball...I'm just hearing white noise, now.
Little league? Who cares about these little rat bastards?
Golf? Alright. Corey Brewer! New T-wolf. That's cool.
You tell me, do I count sports stories on the "real news" tally? I think I won't.
Team USA. There are more sports news bits than there have been real news bits.
What's on WCCO tonight, and what's on the news tonight and tomorrow. Not real news.
Back to the fair. "John" is whooping it up. Now he's shatting it up with a girl in a crown. Now he's asking random pointless questions of rubes in the audience. Getting cheers.
IT'S OVER
6.5 real news bits, + the weather, + about 6 sports stories/features. WCCO is actually making it worth our while to be here.
Enjoy your Saturday night, rubes.
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I turned to my wife the other evening and asked "Why do I hate it when the TV news is broadcast from the state fair?" She (who is much wiser than I and knows me better than I do)said that I'm probably reacting to:
ReplyDeleteA. The fluff quotient going way up.
B. The fact that TV newspeople are treated like celebrities and probably shouldn't be.
C. The fact that the TV newspeople want us to think they're just folks (milking cows, eating pickles soaked in KoolAid) but at the same time promoting themselves like celebrities.
She was right, and your excellent blog entry confirms it. Such pintless drivel (the TV guys, not you).