Thursday, January 31, 2008

Lockdown Update

Lockdown is much harder than it used to be. For one thing, I now care about my health, which means I'm purchasing items like frozen fruit and fresh spinach which are not priced for subsistence level. I'm also shopping for a family now: on my last grocery trip, approximately half the money I spent was on items exclusively for the Baby Viking, or items I would not have purchased had Cruelty-Free Mommy not asked me too. Take away those expenses, and I'm still pretty close to old Lockdown levels.

I'm still utterly amazed at the cheapness of pasta meals. The sauce is so frequently on sale I have to limit myself: purchase Hunt's when it's down to 80 cents a can, and Ragu when it's down to a dollar a jar (buying in bulk means that should be it; if not, Market Pantry for $1.02 is also a decent price). I also generally save the jars and use them as water glasses.

Just another benefit of preparing your own meals rather than going to a restaurant: sales tax. Most grocery items that you get for yourself are untaxed, but if somebody prepares food for you, it is usually taxed. That's something that can really add up: when you tally up the difference between making your food or going out, you can forget that. And if you're going to sit down at a restaurant, you've got a tip to consider (though cheapskates, we always tip well).

The Magic Bullet is a helpful item for Lockdown. Even when trying to subsist, you have to have some food that is really, really tasty. We've discovered that a smoothie with mango and pineapple in it is as close to heaven as we'll get in this world. And if you want a milk shake, you don't have to go to a restaurant: throw the ice cream and milk (and if you'd like, chocolate sauce or fruit) in the Magic Bullet. A griddle is another useful Lockdown cooking tool. We can make grilled cheese (with multiple flavors of cheese, tomato, and onions) that I feel are restaurant quality. A waffle maker is also great (pancake and waffle mix are wonderful sustenance foods).

Cruelty-Free Mommy and I were going to break down and eat out at a mall last Saturday. When we looked at the food, however, we realized it would be cheaper, more filling, and likely as good to just stop by Target and get a frozen pizza. With the way frozen pizzas are made now, it's really unnecessary to get pizza from a restaurant. Little things add up: frozen pizzas are untaxed, but restaurant pizzas have sales tax. Still, there's a Little Caesar's opening next to the Subway in our neighborhood--occasionally that's going to be hard to resist.

An absolute rule for Lockdown: NEVER, EVER pick up the impulse items at the checkout. The beverages are MUCH cheaper if you buy them in bulk and put them in your own damn fridge, and the candy really has no benefit for you other than costing you 40-60 cents. The magazines suck and there's plenty to read on the internet anyway. The candy at the checkout line is a demon temptress that you must overcome if you wish to live a frugal life.

There's my narcissistic trip through two weeks of Lockdown.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Overbearing Weather Alerts

The local TV networks are completely out of control with their School Alerts. They take up far more of the television screen than they actually need to.

Both KSTP 5 and My 29 have a bar on the bottom that is twice as big as it needs to be; instead of showing the school delays/cancellations on two lines, they could easily cut the bar in half and show them on one (a slow scroll is effective for longer info). And that bar on the side of the screen? COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.

I'm watching The Simpsons on my little eight and a half by eleven inch TV (the size of a piece of paper!), and on My 29, the bottom bar is one and a half inches wide and the side bar is just under one and a half inches (yep, I pulled out my Bethel College ruler that I got free at the State Fair a few years ago and measured it).

Of course, on commercials the alert goes away entirely. It is only during programming that my screen is shrunk by a percentage that I can't calculate because I'm an English teacher, not a math teacher.

Why, local networks, do you force yourself into your programming so prominently? Is it really necessary?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Snarky internet cynicism was "once new," too.

Check out the abstract for an article on the Target Center at Minnesota Public Radio's website:

"Minneapolis' top priority during the upcoming legislative session will be some relief in the form of state aid for the Target Center. Once new, the facility isn't attracting high-profile acts, and it's running in the red." (emphasis mine).

"Once new"? You mean, the Target Center isn't like God, ageless and eternal? There was a time when the Target Center was "new"?

"Once new"? I mean, can't we say that about, well, absolutely everything in the universe? "Once new." Classic.

Lockdown

Lately I fear I've been spending money too easily (mostly on food, yes, but on food that is too expensive). So I'm putting myself into lockdown mode--I'm doing what I can to try spend a minimal amount of money. All bills must be paid, of course, but lockdown means reducing any other spending.

First, lockdown means bringing your entertainment budget as close to zero as possible. That's not hard--you can still enjoy all the things you've already spent money on. So I'll be reading all sorts of books that I already own (and if I finish them all before lockdown is lifted, which is unlikely, I have several library cards), watching DVDs I already own, playing games I already own, those sorts of things. I'm actually not bringing the entertainment budget to zero--I'll keep cable, internet, and Netflix. That really makes anything else in the entertainment budget unnecessary.

The hardest part is food. You must have food, but there are a few simple rules to save money on food during lockdown mode.

1. Clear the cupboards.
Try to finish what you have before you buy anything new. You're going to find things in your cupboards and freezer that you've had for a long time and have never actually wanted to eat. Suck it up and eat it. When you see that the basic foodstuff is really no longer in your kitchen, then you can buy new food.

2. Think subsistence.
Not everything you eat can be the cheapest stuff possible. However, a lot of it can be. Shop at a store that includes each item's cost per ounce. Items that are the cheapest possible sustenance foods include french fries (the cheapest brands), bread, pancake mix (so cheap), and canned vegetables. You also want to eat some healthy stuff, so you may need fresh produce. But again, think cheap--canned vegetables are very, very cheap, and frozen fruit can often be found on sale (and it makes great smoothies, which make you feel like you're living a life of heightened decadence even when you're not). There are a lot of basic items that you can get very, very cheap. You can even make, big, diverse meals on the cheap--for example, you could have a big spaghetti meal for a family (pasta, marinara, vegetables, garlic bread) for under five dollars.

3. Never eat out.
It's completely unnecessary to eat out--most food you order at a restaurant you could buy at a grocery store and/or prepare yourself, albeit usually with lesser quality (though not always). During lockdown mode you completely do away with the luxury of eating out. You can still eat a lot of really good food, you just have to put a little more effort into it.

4. Thirsty? Drink water.
Sometimes you want flavored beverages. OK, fine. But to satisfy your thirst throughout the day, drink water. It comes cheaply from your tap. Not everything you drink must be something flavored, which usually costs you money.

These are my basic rules for lockdown--following these rules, one can spend a surprisingly small amount of money on food.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Triumphant Return of this Lousy Blog

The Magic Bullet
When you saw that this blog hadn't been updated in over a month, you probably thought more flaky bloggers once again quit blogging without ever really saying so.

Not so. We've just been too busy magic bulleting things.

If the Magic Bullet was nothing but a glorified Smoothie maker, it would still be worth it. You can make smoothies quickly, with few pieces and with little cleanup. But it does so much more than that.

I assume that most infomercials are utter tripe. But the Magic Bullet infomercial you've seen a dozen times? If it leads you to having a Magic Bullet, it was worth your time.

Pancakes are so cheap I'm a little bit tingly about it.
I'm a connoisseur of what I'll call "sustenance foods." What is "sustenance food"? If your top priority in life was to spend the least possible amount of money, all you would eat are sustenance foods. This is why in graduate school I ate a whole lot of french fries: you can get them extraordinarily cheap.

We'll I've found the sustenance food to end all sustenance food: pancakes. You can get a box of pancake mix for under two dollars. A very small portion of this pancake powder, mixed with water, makes enough pancakes to fill you up.

And honestly, pancakes are pretty good! So if you're extraordinarily cheap, and all you want out of your meal is cheapness, get a box of pancake powder, get a griddle (a worthwhile item), and spend your days and nights making and eating pancakes.

Beyond Shinders
I was devastated when Twin Cities staple Shinders closed. Well, there's something else now: "Beyond Shinders." I talk about it at my sports blog.

Cheapskate Vacation
This summer Cruelty-Free Mommy and I plan on taking the Baby Viking on some sort of driving vacation in Minnesota. We want to look at all the tacky (and free) big statues and oddities: Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox, the Runestone monument, those sorts of things. That's amusing, right? That's the sort of weird stuff little kids like to look at, right?

We'll try to do better next time.
I don't want this to be a flaky blog. But I don't know what I want it to be: I'm not quite sure I want it to be a good blog, either. But it's back. The timing was all bad and we took over a month off. Hopefully that won't happen again.