Unintentionally Stupid Dialogue

In House on Haunted Hill, Taye Diggs says "That was the most fun I've had all day."  Ali Larter responds, "You need to get out more."

He said "all day."   What, he's supposed to get out more today?

It was a particularly lousy day: after all, he had spent the day in a crazy millionaire's haunted mental hospital.  I don't know that his lack of fun that day is indicative that he's not getting out enough every other day.

My favorite current sitcom:

I'm surprised to say it: The New Adventures of Old Christine.  No other show so consistently makes me laugh out loud, and I never expect it.

Cold Case

On this show Cold Case, these detectives go around solving these old murders that have been sitting around unsolved for years. My wife is vexed by this show. For one thing, how do these mastermind detectives solve the crimes that detectives couldn't solve immediately after they occurred? Generally by...going around and talking to everybody that might have been involved. Didn't the original detectives think of this? Or were they just really bad at asking questions? What happens over a period of years that makes the killers decide to confess? Couldn't these same questions have been asked right away?

And why are these super-detectives using basic investigative interrogation techniques to solve old crimes? Maybe if they put these brilliant masterminds on current cases, there wouldn't be so many cold cases in the future.

standing up to the liars at NBC

There's a commercial for the new NBC show "Kath and Kim" that says "everybody" loves the show. But I don't.

Michele Bachman: embarrassing

Dear 49 other states,

We're sorry about Michele Bachman. We're embarrassed.

Signed,

Minnesota (or at least those liberals in Minnesota, whom Bachman may or may not think are "anti-American").

P.S. But it is fun to watch Chris Matthews try to ask questions to make Bachman take ownership of her implications, while Bachman blithely goes on in her silliness. It's like watching an Ali G interview.

Boost the Economy: Stop Political Ads

Our economy is in crisis.  We're a consumer economy, and we need to boost consumption to get back on track.  And I have a simple proposal to boost consumerism.

Stop campaign advertisements.

I rely on commercials to tell me what pizza to eat, to inform me about how much fun I'll have if I choose one brand of pop over another, to let me know how many calories are in bottles of beer, to tell me where I'm supposed to buy my pants.  How am I supposed to consume goods when there are fewer ads telling me which goods to consume?

When I should be learning about new cell phone plans directly from the cell phone companies, I'm instead looking at images of Barack Obama, John McCain, Norm Coleman, Al Franken, Erik Paulson, Ashwin Madia.  And according to these commercials, each of these men is bad.  How am I supposed to purchase products when all I know is why I can't trust these fellows?

When John McCain put out an ad calling Barack Obama dishonorable for merely mentioning that civilians in Afghanistan are being killed in air attacks (by they way, they are), he is taking away somebody else's opportunity to try sell me a car.

It's a miracle I even know how much a footlong sandwich at Subway costs; if politicians had their way, I'd never get the chance to be informed.

So, campaigning political candidates, if you really want to help this economy, how about making sure decent, hard-working, good old fashioned corporations still have an opportunity to hawk their wares.

Frugality and Clothes

One of the ways I've saved money over the years is to rarely if ever buy myself new clothes.  I would rely on my existing wardrobe for as long as possible, changing it primarily through family hand-me-downs and Christmas gifts.  

This lifestyle has actually allowed me to build up a pretty big pile of clothes, but there's a problem: my clothes don't fit.  I get pants that I've never tried on, so they may or may not fit right.  Generally they are too big and I need a belt or suspenders, or they just hang too loose.  Furthermore, I lost a bunch of weight, and so even clothes that could basically function were way, way too big.  I've just gotten used to having pants with a very wide waste, with cuffs that always get worn away because they get under my shoes, with baggy legs that are always rubbing against each other.

But in the last two days I've tried on some pants that fit right.  They might be the first pants I've had that fit properly since...well, I don't even know.   But it feels wonderful.  And now I realize: it's good to be frugal, but you should still try acquire clothing that fits.  I feel much, much better about my day because I am wearing pants that fit.  The waste is just normal.  There isn't a whole bunch of extra fabric flowing around my legs (I can walk without the fabric from each leg rubbing together!).  The bottoms aren't getting caught under my shoes.

And besides, it's not that expensive.  I bought two new pairs of pants this week for a grand total of $21.16.  If you shop off of clearance racks, and shop at cheap stores (Target, Old Navy, Kohl's), you can actually get really cheap clothes.

So now I'm committed: I buy my own clothes (I also bought a sweater just because it is a sweater Geoffrey Tennant sometimes wears on Slings & Arrows).  It's not something I would have done in grad school when I was living on super-duper frugality, but it's something I can do now that I'm just living on regular frugality (with some excessive exceptions). 

Right now, having clothing that fits feels like some sort of extravagant luxury.  I'm living it up, baby!

A blog you might enjoy.

It's about shopping.  It's about the Twin Cities.  We like it.

Unchain My Cart.

If the Vikings were Republicans

It is halftime of the week two matchup between the Minnesota Vikings and the Indianapolis Colts. The Vikings are leading the game 9-0. Head coach Brad Childress comes into the locker room wearing shoulder pads, a jersey, even a helmet. Behind him on the wall is a sign reading "Mission Accomplished." To the cheering of the players, Childress declares major football playing against the Colts to be completed.

After another hapless game by Tarvaris Jackson, Jackson faces the media in a press conference. He's confronted by questions of his poor decision-making, his inaccurate passes, his inability to allow the team to sustain drives or finish drives. After Jackson is done taking questions, Childress pats him on the shoulder and says "You're doing a heck of a job Jacksony."

Viking offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell tells the media just before the 2008 season begins that "The fundamentals of the Viking passing game are strong."

Consumer Information You'd Never Suspect:

Several variations of Oreos are vegan-friendly.

Or at least I think they are: it depends on where "polyglycerol esters of fatty acids" come from. And now that I think about it, maybe I don't want to eat something that has that in it.

But some sugar wafers are vegan. Even some brands of chocolate frosting are vegan. Wild world.

A blog you might like:

Retail Damnation

Commercials that talk to us.

Battery commercials tend to make assumptions about assumptions we have about batteries.  There's a commercial that says "If you think all batteries are the same, consider this..."  Who thinks all batteries are the same?  Could I just take a regular AA battery and stick it in my cell phone?  

Thanks for reminding me, battery company, but I already didn't think all batteries were the same before I saw your stupid commercial.

Bathrooms in the Twin Cities

OK, the men's room in Macy's at the Maplewood Mall is awesome: spacious, clean, inviting.