The state of the state

Last week, Minnesota had the pleasure of experiencing some severe weather. Rain, thunder, lightning, wind the whole bit. I am not a fan of severe weather, never have been, and after my adventure driving back from Super Target in a deluge, I am pretty certain that I never will be.
After narrowly escaping with my life from a torrential downpour, I had some dinner, and thought that maybe I would get a chance to see one of the reality shows that I enjoy. However much to my disappointment it wasnt on, instead I got to see a live radar image of the current weather situation. Was it of the events of the cities?...oh no I was seeing images of the area around Rochester. Soon realizing that CBS wasnt going to give up too easily, I changed channels, surely our good buddy Sven and Kare11 had some common sense, and realizing the danger to the metro had passed would have returned to regular programming. Once again I was mistaken. Sure enough, as I turn to Kare I hear Sven talking about... oh I dont know weather stuff I guess. Now as much fun as it was seeing a very serious Sven (he had his sleeves rolled up) stumble through the events and watching Belinda get madder and madder at him, and eventually taking everything except the use of the computer mouse over, I didnt feel it necessary to have a play by play of what was going on all those miles away, I dont think I needed tips on what to do in case I live in a trailer park, and it definitely wasnt necessary to have interviews of people who are "in the middle of the action"
Oh well, I guess what I am saying here is, I dont mind getting my tv interupted for breaking news stories, but please if its weather related (Im looking at you Sven) have it effect me, and dont treat me like a moron and tell me that I should get to the lowest level of my house.

Sven or not to Sven

Since I am still unsure about Sven, I have decieded to compile a short list of what I know about him. Maybe putting it all down in black and white will allow me to understand if I should like this TV personality or not.
-He is on Kare 11
-He does the weather
-He is from MN (grew up in Cottage Grove, I wonder if he went to Park High School? )
-He is 25
-He graduated from SCSU (just like me)
-He cannot ad lib
-All the girls love him (the state fair crowd screams for him) I did notice his co-anchors made fun of him for this.
-His brother is names Sverre
-He rolls up his sleeves when severe weather is near
-He runs marathons

Ok really this info didn't help me at all I still have mixed feelings about Sven Sundgaard
I guess this means I will continue to watch Kare 11 news on the weekends to see what Sven does next!

Paranoia

I don't know how the rest of you feel, but I have issues because the media (and I am in no way blaming Sven directly) has for years now been leading people to live their lives in fear. My issue is that it is working. I am paranoid about 'the terrorists.' Here is how it manifests itself most obviously in my daily life:

First, public schools are supposedly a scary place now that kids have begun shooting them up. This is a very serious crisis, though the cases are thankfully pretty isolated and rare. The school I work at is very safe, and the students are very sweet. And yet, at times I have moments where I wonder if the kid who I told to tuck in is shirt is going to come back the next day with a grenade or something. Now, I don't really have serious fear, or I probably would change careers. But at times, I worry.

Here is something even crazier: I assume terrorists for some reason want to attack the East side. Why? I don't know. Because we rock. Because they are jealous of Phalen Park. Whatever. But the other night, for example, I called the police because I saw a suspicious-looking bag of trash. That's right, a sack of refuse scared me to the point where I called for help. AAAAHHHH! I am sure it is nothing (or I hope), because it is still sitting there in my neiighborhood. Sidebar: PEOPLE SHOULDN'T LEAVE TRASHBAGS LAYING AROUNG THE NEIGHBORHOOD, EMPTY OR FULL.

So, anyway, in my opinion, the terrorists have already won. I fear rubbish.

Minneapolis-St. Paul: second drunkest "city" in America

I don't really like that Minneapolis-St. Paul gets combined in a lot of these city studies, but it's certainly better than just calling it Minneapolis and ignoring St. Paul. But I guess most of these city studies actually refer to a metro area.

But Minneapolis-St. Paul has been declared by Forbes Magazine to be America's second drunkest city (you'll have to go to Forbes and find it--some online newspapers and magazines do their damn best to make it impossible to link to articles directly). Only Milwaukee has us beat.

All I can say is, I've done my part in making this "city" great.

The State UnFair

The Minnesota state fair is starting in St. Paul tomorrow and has already started to cause me grief. As this is my first summer living in St.Paul I am noticing a few annoyances.
First my bus route was rerouted so that the set up at the fair grounds could begin. Although I was still able to travel from St Paul to Minneapolis campus, it was a bit bothersome.
Then there is the parking. Students have no where to park on the St. Paul campus since it is connected to to fair grounds. Even the streets will not allow parking during the fair. Which means I will not only not be able to go the state fair, but now cannot even enjoy my free internet access at the library
Finally is the news. The local news stations will all be broadcasting from the fair. The viewers at home will get their fill of fluff stories and most likely get little content out of every single news cast until after labor day. We will get to watch the news casters eat food and have fun. But I wonder when Sven is eating that hotdish on a stick and gushing on and on about it, is he really in tune with his viewers. I don't think so. Us veiwers are not not able to enjoy the state fair due to our lack of money (or lack or willingness to spend it on the fiar) but now are also extremely hungry for the food they keep showing us.
So thanks Sven, thanks a lot

Kare 11 at the Fair

Let me just say that despite my usual frugality, I am a huge fan of the fair. I really want to go this year, but I'd prefer if it was with someone who would pay for all my food and whatnot. One fun thing about the fair, for me, is to go around to all the radio stations and tv stations and look at the 'celebrities' in person. I used to spend countless hours at the Edge booth (oh how I miss the Edge!). This year, if I go, I will stop by the Kare 11 place and see the people who have inspired us to write nonsense.

Now, if you are like me and you watch tv all day all summer (god I need a hobby), you have probably seen the commercial advertising that the Kare 11 people are in a new location. Good for them. But they are where the newborn baby animals were. Does that mean there will never again be teeny little tiny little piglets and calfs and jackalopes and the like? I really enjoyed that part of the fair, so I hope that is not the case. And if it is, I fear I will harbor resentment for Sven and my other new friends for taking over the animals' place.

Anyway, speaking of that commercial, does anyone else think it is hilarious to watch Sven in it? All the Kare people are sitting around with cartoon farm equipment and some of them (like Perkins) are really into the whole thing. Then, a milk jug glides across the screen, and out comes Sven, rising like the Great Pumpkin on Halloween night, standing politely with his hands crossed over his crotch, with a big shit-grin on his face. I imagine that the first time he saw the commercial he thought, "This is my life?"

Ahh, Sven.

Dating on a budget

Dating can get to be an expensive undertaking. Trying to woo a young lady into a relationship can drain ones pocket book in no time. So as a service to you, I have decided to make a short list of things to do that are both fun and the cost is agreeable to even the most modest income.

1) find a discount movie theatre. Sure the movies arent always the newest, and the floor can be sticky but really the joy of going to a movie is sitting next to that special someone. An added way to save money here is to bring your own candy, and if youre feeling adventurous, maybe youre own drink. If no discount movie theatre is around, a nice weekend matinee is a nice price beater

2) go for a walk. Find a nice park or even a quiet neighborhood and take a slow paced walk. This a good way to learn about each other, and enjoy each others company.

3) go to the mall. At first this may sound like a potentially expensive trip, but that doesnt have to be the case. The mall has a lot of visually stimulous, the two of you can look at the stores, with no pressure to buy anything, a simple "Im just taking a look around" to the sales clerk will get them off your back. This is also a great way to beat the heat on those 100 degree days.

4) go to eat at local places. good food, and pretty decent prices can be found just down the road (usually within walking distance). There is no need to spend your weekly pay at Don Pablos, when you can get pretty darn good tacos at The Taco House.

5) Play board games/card games. just about everyone has a deck of cards or some sort of board game. Its a great way to socialize, have some friends over and in some cases see if you work well as a team.

I wonder which of these suggestions Sven will use on his next date.

Why we have mixed feelings about Sven Sundgaard

There are many reasons we have mixed feelings about Kare 11 weatherman Sven Sundgaard. Let's narrow them down to five.

1. Sven is in his mid-20s; we are in our mid-20s. We're still not used to seeing people our age as legitimate contributors to the adult community (we say this despite careers in positions of relative adult authority). How can we trust somebody our own age to tell us what the weather will be like? That's senseless.

2. Sven can't ad lib. Earlier this summer, Kare 11 had an unexpected malfunction (as opposed to an expected malfunction) in their computer system, and the graphics to show the weather failed. We assume that somebody with training in either broadcasting or meteorology would at least be able to TALK about what the weather would be like the next day. No, Sven stood there in utter horror, unable to do anything. He even said, "I don't know what to do right now" before some producer mercifully cut to anchor Mike Pomeranz who did know how to ad lib (because as Jerry tells George, they tend to give those jobs to people who are, you know, in broadcasting).

3. Sven is in a ridiculous commercial. Sven, in all his metrosexual glory, gets ready to go jogging in a tank top, shorts, stylish sunglasses, and immaculate hair styling, as the camera pans around to different parts of his taut muscular body. During this preparation, Sven speaks in a language that I assume is Norwegian, and ends with a "You Betcha." Then he takes off running. We don't know whether to love or hate this commercial. We are not gay men ("Not that there's anything wrong with that"), but if we assume that if we were gay men, we would like this commercial.

4. Despite wanting to dislike him (he reminds us a bit of all the cool kids in high school), we sort of like Sven. He's pleasant to look at, and he brings out the dorky banter and unfunny joking like a regular local TV news personality. But he does this without looking like a typical schmuck in a suit. There doesn't seem to be any reason to name this blog "Sven Sucks," "We Hate Sven," or even "We Dislike Sven." But we also don't see a reason to make a fanboy blog lapping love on Sven.

5. We actually don't care about Sven at all. Not even a little bit. but this is the sort of amusing bit of Twin Cities commentary we can make. You see, we don't like to spend money. If we did, we would read about the restaurants, theaters, and other cultural activities in the local newspapers and magazines (we're regular readers of The Rake and Lavender--after all, they are free magazines), then go spend our money. No, we like to sit around, spending our money on nothing (this also means not spending our money on expensive TV packages--we pay $10.33 a month for cable, thank you very much, and we only pay that to ensure that Viking games will come in clearly). This means that the parts of Twin Cities life we are best suited to comment on are the free activities (St. Paul is filled with nice parks to walk around in), and TV. But a blog about our walks through St. Paul's parks would be pretty dull. So we decided to devote the majority of our commentary to local TV. But we are also hypocrites, so we occasionally shell out a bit of money to go to a cheap restaurant or movie theater (such as Friday, when I ate an entire box of Sugar Babies while watching "Snakes on a Plane").

So far we've got 4 commentators, so pay attention to who is writing each post, since even though we often write in the royal "we," we are separate individuals with divergent opinions.

Enjoy?