I need to share with you a great injustice. It's an injustice that is going widely ignored by the mainstream press. It's something that must be part of the dialogue of the populace.
Season Eight of Seinfeld is coming out on DVD the first week in June.
THIS IS A TRAVESTY.
Seinfeld DVD seasons should always come out in late November, so somebody can buy them for me for Christmas. That it comes out now forces me to either buy it now, or wait and hope somebody still remembers to get it for me. This is only the second season to come out at a time other than the Christmas shopping season: Season Four came out around April two years ago. All the other seasons came out in time to be purchased as Christmas gifts.
And now people like J-Rod and me have decisions to make.
TRAVESTY. OUTRAGE. INJUSTICE.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Do they do this on purpose?
This blog was started to talk about local TV because we don't spend money. Now I get TNT, so while taking care of my son, I get to watch a lot of Law & Order. So now on this blog I comment on Law & Order too much. Deal.
Today on TNT, a Law & Order episode ("Savages"), two (count them, two) actors from Godspell were guest stars. Jesus himself, Victor Garber, was on trial, and the judge was played by Lynn Thigpen, who was one of Jesus's disciples in Godspell.
The casting director had to have this in mind, right? Freaking Godspell?
Today on TNT, a Law & Order episode ("Savages"), two (count them, two) actors from Godspell were guest stars. Jesus himself, Victor Garber, was on trial, and the judge was played by Lynn Thigpen, who was one of Jesus's disciples in Godspell.
The casting director had to have this in mind, right? Freaking Godspell?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Whatever happened to Jordana Green?
Remember former WFTC news anchor Jordana Green? WFTC is the local channel affiliated with My29, but before that it was affiliated with UPN and had a local news broadcast, and Jordana Green was a "weeknight anchor" (she also evidently used to be an anchor in Indianapolis). Well today I thought I saw her on TV shilling for some product.
Apparently she might now be hawking wares--you can learn about her, or hire her, here at talentpoole.com.
Her skills are "Reading from teleprompter, Ad libbing."
So you tell me, people: are TV anchors "journalists," "actors," or "advertisers"? Let's just call them "talent."
Addendum: somebody at KFAN Rube Chat thinks she was shilling for CLR, which is some sort of cleaning product.
Apparently she might now be hawking wares--you can learn about her, or hire her, here at talentpoole.com.
Her skills are "Reading from teleprompter, Ad libbing."
So you tell me, people: are TV anchors "journalists," "actors," or "advertisers"? Let's just call them "talent."
Addendum: somebody at KFAN Rube Chat thinks she was shilling for CLR, which is some sort of cleaning product.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Feeling Our Age
Today Possible Flurries and I were driving with our son and nephew to a party. On the way, we learned that our nephew had never even heard of Jerry Seinfeld, and we listened to his ideas on "hippies." According to him, just about anybody that is old is a hippy, and this includes his 80 year old great grandmother, George W. Bush, and Jesus.
On the drive, we saw a sign informing us that David Spade would be performing at a local casino. "That would be fun," PF observed.
And then she came with the hammer: "We've reached the age where comedians we still think are funny are performing at local casinos."
I swore out loud realizing I am now old. As time goes on, more and more of the performers I still consider good are going to be showing all the signs of being washed up, and there's no greater sign than performing at a Minnesota casino. Recently the lady from "Mama's Family" did a show. And now David Spade, one of our favorite funny guys, is doing shows at a local casino.
On the drive, we saw a sign informing us that David Spade would be performing at a local casino. "That would be fun," PF observed.
And then she came with the hammer: "We've reached the age where comedians we still think are funny are performing at local casinos."
I swore out loud realizing I am now old. As time goes on, more and more of the performers I still consider good are going to be showing all the signs of being washed up, and there's no greater sign than performing at a Minnesota casino. Recently the lady from "Mama's Family" did a show. And now David Spade, one of our favorite funny guys, is doing shows at a local casino.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Slight Drizzle
Jason DeRusha notes that WCCO's "Good Question" is getting a feature on a national show. As Partly Cloudy and Pleasant once asked, if you have a good question, why do you think asking random rubes on the street is the best way to get an answer? I can think of two other much better ways to get your answer. But let's not kid ourselves: a local TV news broadcast isn't the best place to go to get an answer about anything. Well, unless the question is "what sort of stock footage of women can be used during a feature about birth control?" or "How do you make a story personal by interviewing a random citizen?"
Minnesota Monthly says that "Everything You Know About Minnesota is Wrong."
The Consumerist reports on a special screw that costs $82.49.
Minnesota Monthly says that "Everything You Know About Minnesota is Wrong."
The Consumerist reports on a special screw that costs $82.49.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Why are the people on "Law and Order" so mean?
The police on "Law and Order" are always rude and often threatening to those they question--even when the people they are questioning are not suspects, but simply might know something. They're often mean to people who they don't believe did anything wrong at all. Do police generally act rude and threatening during an investigation? Is that common procedure?
The prosecutors can be just as bad. Angie Harmon's character is the worst: smug and rude, she's always displaying a combination of power and condescension.
The prosecutors can be just as bad. Angie Harmon's character is the worst: smug and rude, she's always displaying a combination of power and condescension.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Cell Phones and Me
My friends and family are frequently frustrated with me. They call my cell phone and it rings and rings and rings.
It's not that I look at the phone and snub people. When I go out, I often forget my phone. When I'm in one room I often don't hear the cell phone ringing in another room.
And I don't care. I always get a chance to call back and talk to the person trying to call.
Where does this idea come from that all humans must be technologically/communicatively available 24/7? It is OK to have some solitude, some reclusiveness, some separation from the world.
I don't get my cell phone. I don't like my cell phone. People call me and I talk to them and I like that (because I do like the people that try to call me). But I think people would be happier if I drilled a hole in my head and inserted a mini-cell in there so that they could have constant access to me.
It's not that I look at the phone and snub people. When I go out, I often forget my phone. When I'm in one room I often don't hear the cell phone ringing in another room.
And I don't care. I always get a chance to call back and talk to the person trying to call.
Where does this idea come from that all humans must be technologically/communicatively available 24/7? It is OK to have some solitude, some reclusiveness, some separation from the world.
I don't get my cell phone. I don't like my cell phone. People call me and I talk to them and I like that (because I do like the people that try to call me). But I think people would be happier if I drilled a hole in my head and inserted a mini-cell in there so that they could have constant access to me.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Kent Brockman is now Sven Sundgaard
BREAKING NEWS: Kent Brockman was just demoted to weekend weatherman. He is despondent over this sad state of affairs. We'll keep you posted with any updates.
UPDATE: As if being a weekend weatherman for a local news station is not enough embarrassment, Kent Brockman has been fired.
UPDATE: We've just reached the commercial after the second segment of The Simpsons; will there be enough time in segment three to bring everything back to normal? To recap, Kent Brockman was fired for going Ron Burgundy with the swears. WHMFASS will be your primary instant update for Kent Brockman's fate on this episode of The Simpsons.
UPDATE: Kent is now sleeping on the Simpsons' couch.
UPDATE: Kent is now doing pirate news reports from...the Simpsons' basement?
UPDATE: Kent is giving news over the internet, and Dracula has been shamed for messing up pizza orders.
UPDATE: Kent has been rehired by the network (with 50% pay increase), disappointing Lisa who had admired his independent spirit.
UPDATE: So after Kent Brockman faced the shame of holding Sven Sundgaard's job...
UPDATE: Everything is back to normal.
UPDATE: As if being a weekend weatherman for a local news station is not enough embarrassment, Kent Brockman has been fired.
UPDATE: We've just reached the commercial after the second segment of The Simpsons; will there be enough time in segment three to bring everything back to normal? To recap, Kent Brockman was fired for going Ron Burgundy with the swears. WHMFASS will be your primary instant update for Kent Brockman's fate on this episode of The Simpsons.
UPDATE: Kent is now sleeping on the Simpsons' couch.
UPDATE: Kent is now doing pirate news reports from...the Simpsons' basement?
UPDATE: Kent is giving news over the internet, and Dracula has been shamed for messing up pizza orders.
UPDATE: Kent has been rehired by the network (with 50% pay increase), disappointing Lisa who had admired his independent spirit.
UPDATE: So after Kent Brockman faced the shame of holding Sven Sundgaard's job...
UPDATE: Everything is back to normal.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Frugality Report: Smoker's Budget, Teabags, Fresh Broccoli
Smoker's Budget
Possible Flurries and I were estimating how much money per year a typical addicted smoker spends. When discussing the numbers, I said, "It sort of makes my football card habit seem pretty light." Possible Flurries replied, "It sort of makes my buying groceries habit seem pretty light." And then I said, "Think of all the things we could justify buying if we said, 'Well, I don't smoke: this is the money I would spend on cigarettes, so I can spend it on something else.'" Let's go out to eat: we'll take the money from our smoker's budget. Let's get tickets to a play: we don't smoke, so we'll just take the money we would have spent on cigarettes if we did.
Of course that's not a reasonable way to make spending decisions, but it has a certain sense to it. If we budgeted as if we were both smokers, there would be all sorts of things we could do with the money we are actually not spending on cigarettes.
Teabagging
I've switched from pop to iced tea, with great success. But there is a frugal way to acquire iced tea. If you buy Lipton's Iced Tea in 16.9 oz bottles, a 12 pack usually costs around $6.00 (usually between $5.50-6.50). But you can buy these little packets that you can just mix into your water. They're usually around $2.50 for a pack of 10 (between $2-$3, but usually $2.50). The benefits are overwhelming. First, your cost per drink goes from around 50 cents to around 25 cents. Second, you don't need storage space: I've got 34 packets in a cupboard right now, as opposed to 34 packets sitting around the kitchen or in the fridge. And finally, you save on waste: instead of using up a new bottle with each drink, you use up a very small packet.
Fresh Broccoli
Fresh broccoli stalks are usually under $1.70 for a fixed amount (3-4 stalks wrapped up). You have the crowns, but you have a long stem, too. You can eat the stems if you want. However, if you are willing to cut off the crowns yourself, you can throw away the stems and still save money (I think). Buying fresh broccoli crowns, cut by the store, is like $3.99 per pound. Buying frozen broccoli crowns is (if memory serves) around two dollars a pound or more. But I think when I buy the stalks, I'm getting a pound or more of crowns, so by just cutting off the crowns myself, I'm saving money. Sometimes I do steam the stems with the crowns; other times, I just toss them because the crowns are the good part.
Possible Flurries and I were estimating how much money per year a typical addicted smoker spends. When discussing the numbers, I said, "It sort of makes my football card habit seem pretty light." Possible Flurries replied, "It sort of makes my buying groceries habit seem pretty light." And then I said, "Think of all the things we could justify buying if we said, 'Well, I don't smoke: this is the money I would spend on cigarettes, so I can spend it on something else.'" Let's go out to eat: we'll take the money from our smoker's budget. Let's get tickets to a play: we don't smoke, so we'll just take the money we would have spent on cigarettes if we did.
Of course that's not a reasonable way to make spending decisions, but it has a certain sense to it. If we budgeted as if we were both smokers, there would be all sorts of things we could do with the money we are actually not spending on cigarettes.
Teabagging
I've switched from pop to iced tea, with great success. But there is a frugal way to acquire iced tea. If you buy Lipton's Iced Tea in 16.9 oz bottles, a 12 pack usually costs around $6.00 (usually between $5.50-6.50). But you can buy these little packets that you can just mix into your water. They're usually around $2.50 for a pack of 10 (between $2-$3, but usually $2.50). The benefits are overwhelming. First, your cost per drink goes from around 50 cents to around 25 cents. Second, you don't need storage space: I've got 34 packets in a cupboard right now, as opposed to 34 packets sitting around the kitchen or in the fridge. And finally, you save on waste: instead of using up a new bottle with each drink, you use up a very small packet.
Fresh Broccoli
Fresh broccoli stalks are usually under $1.70 for a fixed amount (3-4 stalks wrapped up). You have the crowns, but you have a long stem, too. You can eat the stems if you want. However, if you are willing to cut off the crowns yourself, you can throw away the stems and still save money (I think). Buying fresh broccoli crowns, cut by the store, is like $3.99 per pound. Buying frozen broccoli crowns is (if memory serves) around two dollars a pound or more. But I think when I buy the stalks, I'm getting a pound or more of crowns, so by just cutting off the crowns myself, I'm saving money. Sometimes I do steam the stems with the crowns; other times, I just toss them because the crowns are the good part.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Dr. Phil's new thing
When Dr. Phil's guests say something completely ridiculous or point to utterly senseless behavior, Dr. Phil's new thing is to say "Am I in the Twilight Zone?!" The audience loves this. Often they will cheer him. He'll also say "Am I the only one that thinks this is outrageous?" or "Does anybody else think these people are utter shit-for-brains?" and the audience will pile on and clap with him because obviously they are on Dr. Phil's side, and usually the guests really are completely irrational, senseless shit-for-brains people."
Today Dr. Phil is talking to wives who are married to metrosexual husbands. It's Friday afternoon so it's all for laughs.
By 3:00 I am tired of thinking anything and I just want to sit with Fox waiting for his mother to return home, and so I watch the endless mayhem that is Dr. Phil's mind.
Today Dr. Phil is talking to wives who are married to metrosexual husbands. It's Friday afternoon so it's all for laughs.
By 3:00 I am tired of thinking anything and I just want to sit with Fox waiting for his mother to return home, and so I watch the endless mayhem that is Dr. Phil's mind.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Summer = Maury
Last summer I wrote about how Maury was the anchor that held my summer together. This summer I would hope for something better, but while caring for a baby, it's hard to read and nice to have something going on in the background.
And that means Maury. More distraught women running "backstage." More irresponsible men insulting women and jumping around like kangaroos when the child isn't theirs. More DNA tests and lie detector tests. More teenage girls doing what they want in front of their crying mothers. More Maury fascilitating it all with a mixture of paternal judgment and paternal caring.
Other things I like about summer and TV:
The Geico Cavemen. I always laugh the first time I see a new Caveman commercial. "He doesn't say anything because he's a doll." Classic.
Dr. Phil. I hate Dr. Phil. Yet I watch Dr. Phil.
Law and Order. I believe I completely understand the justice system. I could practice law right now. Give me the bar exam; I watch Law and Order every freaking day. Of course, sometimes I skip the Law and just watch Jack McCoy with the Order.
Commercials for movies I won't see for a long time because I have a kid to take care of.
Homicide: Life on the Streets. Sadly, this show is on during Maury and sometimes I don't know what to do.
NBA Playoffs on TNT. Possible Flurries is very upset to find out the playoffs go on for another month. She thinks every night I have the playoffs on. That's true, but I actually haven't watched a single game from beginning to end.
More time for the usual suspects like Kare 11, Seinfeld, and The Simpsons.
Yes, in the early stages, it sure looks like I'm going to piss away my summer on nothing.
And that means Maury. More distraught women running "backstage." More irresponsible men insulting women and jumping around like kangaroos when the child isn't theirs. More DNA tests and lie detector tests. More teenage girls doing what they want in front of their crying mothers. More Maury fascilitating it all with a mixture of paternal judgment and paternal caring.
Other things I like about summer and TV:
The Geico Cavemen. I always laugh the first time I see a new Caveman commercial. "He doesn't say anything because he's a doll." Classic.
Dr. Phil. I hate Dr. Phil. Yet I watch Dr. Phil.
Law and Order. I believe I completely understand the justice system. I could practice law right now. Give me the bar exam; I watch Law and Order every freaking day. Of course, sometimes I skip the Law and just watch Jack McCoy with the Order.
Commercials for movies I won't see for a long time because I have a kid to take care of.
Homicide: Life on the Streets. Sadly, this show is on during Maury and sometimes I don't know what to do.
NBA Playoffs on TNT. Possible Flurries is very upset to find out the playoffs go on for another month. She thinks every night I have the playoffs on. That's true, but I actually haven't watched a single game from beginning to end.
More time for the usual suspects like Kare 11, Seinfeld, and The Simpsons.
Yes, in the early stages, it sure looks like I'm going to piss away my summer on nothing.
Monday, May 07, 2007
The Discreet Charm of Sven Sundgaard
As you know, we have mixed feelings about Sven Sundgaard. His blog contributes much to our confusion over whether we should like him or not.
He reads books about weather to little children. Look at the picture of Sven with the kids: if you shrunk him a bit with photoshop, would you actually be able to tell he's an adult? The only giveaway is the riDUCKulous hairstyle.
Sven is also a big promoter of the Aliveness Project's eating program. Their motto is "Dine out, Fight AIDS!," which sort of reminds me of the line from RENT, "Act up, fight AIDS!," which the aliveness project may have been going for.
And of course, Sven has a pet goat.
Now you tell me whether you know whether to like Sven Sundgaard or dislike Sven Sundgaard. Perhaps you can see why we have mixed feelings. We don't like his wacky hair. We like his demands that we eat. We like his commitment to fighting AIDS. We have mixed feelings about his goat.
Please see the first WHMFASS post for our deeper thoughts on the meaning of Sven.
He reads books about weather to little children. Look at the picture of Sven with the kids: if you shrunk him a bit with photoshop, would you actually be able to tell he's an adult? The only giveaway is the riDUCKulous hairstyle.
Sven is also a big promoter of the Aliveness Project's eating program. Their motto is "Dine out, Fight AIDS!," which sort of reminds me of the line from RENT, "Act up, fight AIDS!," which the aliveness project may have been going for.
And of course, Sven has a pet goat.
Now you tell me whether you know whether to like Sven Sundgaard or dislike Sven Sundgaard. Perhaps you can see why we have mixed feelings. We don't like his wacky hair. We like his demands that we eat. We like his commitment to fighting AIDS. We have mixed feelings about his goat.
Please see the first WHMFASS post for our deeper thoughts on the meaning of Sven.
TNT's "Charmed" Commercial
On TNT's commercial for Charmed, the announcer says "Theyre sexy...and sassy."
After saying they are sassy, a clip is shown. Ubermensch Julian McMahon says to one of the girls, "You always were the smart one." And how does the "sassy" witch respond? "Cut the crap."
Cut the crap. That was the best example TNT could find during Charmed to show that this girl is sassy. That's it. That's really freaking sassy there, everybody. "Cut the crap." That's a whole lot of sass.
If you watch the show, you know that the one long haired girl (you think I'm going to learn the names of the characters on Charmed just because it is on after Law and Order and I can't grab the remote because I'm holding a sleeping baby?) really is sassy. But that's the best short bit they could find to prove it: Cut the crap.
After saying they are sassy, a clip is shown. Ubermensch Julian McMahon says to one of the girls, "You always were the smart one." And how does the "sassy" witch respond? "Cut the crap."
Cut the crap. That was the best example TNT could find during Charmed to show that this girl is sassy. That's it. That's really freaking sassy there, everybody. "Cut the crap." That's a whole lot of sass.
If you watch the show, you know that the one long haired girl (you think I'm going to learn the names of the characters on Charmed just because it is on after Law and Order and I can't grab the remote because I'm holding a sleeping baby?) really is sassy. But that's the best short bit they could find to prove it: Cut the crap.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Fiction's Best Anchors
We obviously watch a lot of local TV news. We've also seen a lot of fictional TV newspeople. Who are the best?
All the people on Anchorman.
Ron Burgundy, Veronica Corningstone, Champ Kind, Brian Fantana, Brick Tamlund, all the rival news networks: they're all wonderful.
Nicholas Cage in The Weatherman.
You should see this movie: an underrated beauty of an angsty comedy. The things that happen to Cage's weatherman are wonderfully memorable.
That guy in Network that is mad as hell and unwilling to take it anymore.
Clearly that's a guy that sticks in our memories.
Kent Brockman from The Simpsons.
Kenny Brocklestein is a classic. From "I for one welcome our new insect overlords" to "It's in Revelations, people!," he's had some of the show's very memorable lines.
There are others, but these are my faves. Do you have any worth mention?
All the people on Anchorman.
Ron Burgundy, Veronica Corningstone, Champ Kind, Brian Fantana, Brick Tamlund, all the rival news networks: they're all wonderful.
Nicholas Cage in The Weatherman.
You should see this movie: an underrated beauty of an angsty comedy. The things that happen to Cage's weatherman are wonderfully memorable.
That guy in Network that is mad as hell and unwilling to take it anymore.
Clearly that's a guy that sticks in our memories.
Kent Brockman from The Simpsons.
Kenny Brocklestein is a classic. From "I for one welcome our new insect overlords" to "It's in Revelations, people!," he's had some of the show's very memorable lines.
There are others, but these are my faves. Do you have any worth mention?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
How the Might Have Fallen
I am curious to know what happened to Tim Sherno. He used to co-anchor the Fox9 Morning News with Alix Kendall, and then one day a few months ago, he just vanished. Now, he has reappeared on KSTP as an occasional reporter. For example, today he had a very insightful story about the sewer controversy in Mahtomedi. Exciting stuff. So evidently, you can go fall quite a bit in the world of TV journalism. Although some would argue (A Bit More Humid, for example) that occasional reporting for KSTP is a step up from anchoring FOX9.
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