A new blogging adventure

The time has come for me to phase myself out of WHMFASS.  Join me at a new blog:

That's how we do it in the T.C.

Here's the blog's introduction.  I'm doing this for a few reasons.  I don't want to compartmentalize my ideas into different blogs anymore.  Parenthood changes the timing for blogging as well as the things I observe worth blogging.  I've been considering it for a few months, and I think it's time.

A lot of what you'll find there is similar to what you've found at WHMFASS.  I hope the posting there will be much more frequent, and the mixture with content from my other blogs (I'm be cross-posting from Pacifist Viking, and the attempts at discussion of literature and ideas at Costanza Book Club will be moved to the new blog) should make it generally more interesting.

It's been fun, and it will stay fun at a new URL.

I for one welcome our new meteorological overlords

After seeing Sven Sundgaard on the cover of Mpls St. Paul Magazine, (unless it was a different magazine--I glanced at it in a bookstore), I believe the man will spend the ensuing decades becoming the biggest local celebrity there is (meaning more people will Google him, find this site, and be disappointed about how little it is about him and how poor the overall quality is).

Perhaps in 30 years, when the Twin Cities area is renamed Target City (or Twin Cities Presented By Target?), Sven will be our figurehead mayor, telling us weather and presenting in a palatable fashion Target's new policies set forth for its city.

Commercial Life

By far the creepiest part of my day is when that person in a pig costume starts dancing as if a stripper, and the men are watching, and then the person in the pig costume drops barbecue sauce on itself, and it splatters on the enraptured men.

Walmart in Sauk Centre

The managers at the Walmart in Sauk Centre, MN need to do a better job training their employees to know that receipt checks are VOLUNTARY.  The employee has a right to ASK to see a customer's receipt; the customer, however, is under no obligation to comply and may decline.

Months ago, a Walmart employee demanded I show a receipt for my purchases.  Today, a Walmart employee demanded to see my brother's receipt.  The employee was rude, surly, and demanding.

The employee at Walmart is a random person; sure, he can ask to see what's in my pocket, but that doesn't mean I just have to empty my pockets for this person because he says so.

Apparently Walmart in Sauk Centre assumes its customers are thieves, and rudely, impolitely demands that customers prove they are not.

Dear voters in Michele Bachmann's district:

Seriously?

Sven

Sven Sundgaard is back on the cover of Lavender, promoting Dining Out For Life for The Aliveness Project.

The Modern World is Alive With Magic

There's such a thing as Diet Sunkist, and it has caffeine in it.

Commodification

If you walk around a mall, you'll find many, many, many different products featuring the Peace Symbol. Many brands and many stores feature the Peace Symbol.* I'm extremely doubtful any of these stores are actually interested in the political (potentially subversive) intent the Peace Symbol may imply. They are capitalizing on a general mood (passive opposition to war) that contributes to a fashion trend.

So the Peace Symbol has become a fashionable symbol in a consumeristic culture. And in some ways, this makes the fashionability of the Peace Sign representative for the American mood toward war. There are few "supporters" of the current wars--most are weary and skeptical about these wars. But most people are either not so opposed to these wars they're taking any action, or feel incapable of taking any positive action (it does often feel like a helpless situation, that opponents of war can't really do anything to stop it). Thus people are willing to passively express these (general, vague) negative feelings toward war with the passive means we're most familiar and comfortable with: consumerism.**

*In my experience, the overwhelming majority of Peace Sign products are for women, which calls for further--if obvious--comment. Just as "real men" are supposed to love eating meat (just ask Taco Bell--men shouldn't just want steak but they should want "triple steak," and the only way men can eat a salad is if it is "fully loaded" and the lettuce is buried beneath meat), men are not expected to embrace the cuddly, mushy, huggy Peace Sign (usually around pink, purple, and pastels)--that's for sensitive, softer women.

**I own a hat, a bracelet, a key chain, a pair of pants, and three shirts with the Peace Symbol, and two more shirts featuring the word "pacifist." I'm rarely not wearing clothing expressing a peace message, and I love getting new clothes with the Peace Symbol. I'm not exempting myself from this critique.

Why I like "Parks and Recreation"

Yes, the tone and humor is exactly, precisely that of The Office. But you know what? The Office is funny. Having another half hour a week of this style of humor is a good thing, not a bad thing.

Furthermore, The Office has gotten a little stale--I don't find it as funny as I used to. To take that style of humor, and apply it to entirely different characters, in an entirely new context, gives me uncontrollable, full-experience pleasure laughs again (when Amy Poehler called the town "lousy with hippies," I lost it).

Getting Birthday Gifts From Restaurants

If your inbox can handle a few extra emails a week, go ahead and get on the email list of restaurants you like. So far for my birthday I'm getting a free giant piece of cake for dessert at Romano's Macaroni Grill, a free beverage from Caribou Coffee, and a free sundae from Culver's.

Commercial Inquiries

Do you notice a lot of commercials start with questions? Have advertising experts determined this is a successful tactic to get peoples' attention, because people instinctively pay attention when asked questions?

Usually the question comes at the start of the commercial. Wherever it comes, though, I usually start answering. When some rube says "What's in your wallet?" I start with "ummm...a coupon for a free Diet Dr. Pepper...my PETA membership card....uh...a library card...maybe four dollars...a coupon for a free cinnamon dessert at Papa Murphy's...do you want me to keep going?" I don't think the commercial actually cares.

Start answering aloud whenever a commercial asks a question. It's fun, because if you're with people and they're not paying attention to the commercial (they usually aren't, and even if they are, they don't expect you to answer) they suddenly think you're talking to them about something else. Enough non sequiturs, and you could get committed, and then you get a break.

Television Confuses Me

I don't understand how reruns work. For the last two months or so, I have been confused by the tv schedule. It seems like every other week is a new episode and every other week is a rerun. I get all excited to watch certain shows, and then they either aren't on (like New Christine last week) or they are reruns (like Grey's Anatomy last week and the Monday CBS comedies today). I wish shows would just do new shows for a couple months straight and then do a bunch of reruns. At least then I would know what to expect.

Kings

Kings is a good show; I don't have mixed feelings. Watch it. Watch full episodes online.

TV Coverage of the Tobacco Tax Rocks!

It's not the stock footage of people smoking that makes news coverage of the cigarette tax fun.  It's when the network sends cameras out to find angry smokers willing to talk about how they're discriminated against, proudly proclaiming they'll still be smoking and they'll quit when they're ready.  That's fun times.

Drugs Are Bad

I know we usually stick to local interest stuff, but I found this amusing.

Saybrook man wanted to feel pain of shot

I wouldn't have given this article a second thought, but then I read this:

"The stepbrother did shoot Fortune and then began to cry and so did Fortune, according to the report."

Can you imagine seeing this happen?  What would it take for a stoned guy to convince you to actually shoot him?  I wonder what kind of logic he used to convince his brother that shooting him in the leg was a reasonable thing to do. 

The whole thing is just insane.

Respect the beard

I like when a male television character is going through something and he grows a beard.  The beard conveys gravitas, and a turning inward.  It shows internal conflict ("I have had neither the time nor the shallow vanity for my appearance, for I have been wrestling in my soul") and earned wisdom ("not only am I old enough and manly enough for a beard, but I have struggled for the self-knowledge this beard signifies").

Respect McDreamy's beard.

WHMFASS Urban Legends

If your dog chews on toilet paper, don't use that toilet paper, or you'll turn into a werewolf.

Leftovers: living frugally, well

Reheated spaghetti or rice doesn't sound appealing. But if you mix in fresh vegetables with the leftovers, you've got an appealing, tasty meal. Mix fresh food in with the leftovers, and the enjoyment of the meal improves greatly.

The Best Hour of Comedy on Network Television

In my opinion, it is not NBC's Thursday night combo of The Office and 30 Rock. It is CBS's Monday night combo of The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother.

Both The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother have what most quality sitcoms feature: unique, unpredictable characters and very sharply written dialogue. But they are also both unique, and it is their originality that makes them particularly entertaining.

The Big Bang Theory often relies on conventional sitcom situations. What it does, however, is thrust odd, eccentric, smart, and creative characters into these conventional situations, and observes how these characters will play out the familiar situations. The result is often an unfamiliar storyline, unexpected plot twists, extremely funny actions and reactions.

How I Met Your Mother often transcends the conventional "situation," though often has familiar features. And the characters are unique, creative, and funny--they drive the show. But How I Met Your Mother often operates with unconventional narrative form: frame stories, non-chronological stories, stories told in pieces and from multiple perspectives. These narrative styles are familiar to students of literature, but How I Met Your Mother brings them to the sitcom in original and entertaining ways.

The shows treat their audiences like intelligent human beings. The result is an hour of television that is unpredictable and authentically funny.

Being Bourgeoisie

Perhaps in college I could smirk at various excesses of American consumer life and say "Ah, that's so bourgeoisie."  But as the skinhead in Tony Harrison's poem "v." writes, "now yer live wi' all yer once detested..."  Now I'm constantly doing things that make me say, "Gosh, this is so bourgeoisie."

My regular coffee order?  An iced soy latte.  Is there anything in the history of civilization as bourgeoisie as an ICED SOY LATTE?

And as I take my pet POODLE for a walk (yes, a lapdog), and she finds it right and salutary to poop onto the sidewalk, I bend down with a plastic bag and pick it up.  That isn't quite as bourgeois as an iced soy latte, but still makes me want to call myself a pig.

Local News Sort of Sucks

Kare 11's lead 10:00 story: a community is annoyed because trains are left parked on the tracks.

Facebook

According to Matt Labash, Facebook sucks.  I use it now, but he's mostly right.

(via Arts & Letters Daily)

Local Interest Story

In current events (since this is a blog about local media) the famed Cruelty-Free Mommy is back, after taking a full year off of blogging.

This vegetarian approves of Panda Express

As a vegetarian living in a flesh-consuming society, I have to get accustomed to minor consumer injustices. I pay the same for my Veggie Delite footlong Subway sandwich as meat-eaters pay for a sandwich loaded up with meat and whatever vegetables they want (I don't even put cheese on my sandwich, though I now get the cheese on the side for my toddler). This is particularly galling as Subway actually raised the price of the Veggie Delite sub to $5 for the same promotion in which it lowered the price of meat subs to $5. So it goes--one gets used to it (I could just stop going to Subway, but living mostly vegan, Subway offers a good, healthy meal). Most restaurant menu salads include meat; ordering such a salad without meat sometimes lowers the cost, but often doesn't. Sometimes I just have to be happy if there is a vegetarian entree available (at a recent trip to Champps, basically the appetizer menu was all that was available to me. Of course, eventually I just don't go to restaurants that don't offer good vegetarian options, and frequent those that do...or eat at home, of course. If you mostly eat fruit and vegetables, there's no need to frequently get it served to you).

But I was surprised and pleased recently at Panda Express. At Panda Express, the entrees are primarily flesh-based, and the sides are vegetarian. To get food there, I fully expected to need to turn the sides into entrees. But after ordering the fried rice, lo mein, and mixed veggies, the cashier rang it up as three sides--which made the meal about $3 cheaper than if the sides were turned into entrees. I even said "Really?" and the cashier confirmed that yes, it's just three sides, so it's cheaper. It turns out to be a cheap, filling vegetarian meal.

Yay, Panda Express. At a different blog, "Yay, Panda Express" might follow with an exclamation point. But this is a blog of restrained feelings (look at the title). At this blog, you reallllly have to earn your exclamation points (though apparently you don't really have to earn extra consonants). I've also got a problem with parentheses.

Public Restroom Policy

I detest some public restroom garbage cans. Do you know the trash bins that have a lid you have to push, and as soon as you let go, it springs back? This is the stupidest garbage can in the history of the world. So I either need to use my newly washed hand to push open a garbage lid that has been touched by who knows what and whom, or I need to use the paper towel to push it open, trying to let the towel drop into the trash before the lid springs shut (and it springs shut at super-alien-speed). If it doesn't work and falls on the floor, I get another paper towel and pick it up to try again, feeling bad about leaving trash on the floor of a public restroom.

No more. From now on if I'm forced to use a paper towel, and the spring-lid springs shut, pushing the paper towel to the floor, I'm leaving it there. It is a stupid garbage can, and it is a stupid decision to use them in public restrooms. Certainly, the poor employee who must clean up the restroom mess didn't make the decision on the stupid garbage can, but then that employee is probably forced to clean up messier problems than some used paper towels that didn't make their way into the trash bin.

There are many problems with public restrooms (I, for one, would like to get out of any public restroom without touching anything after I've washed my hands, but it is a rare bathroom that allows this easily). Spring-back lids on trash cans compound an already delicate situation into a misery.

Ahhh, Sven.

The other day, I was watching my 2 year old while the 6:00 Kare 11 news ran in the background and suddenly I realized that what was being covered was not actually news, but fluff. I don't remember the exact topic (what makes rainbows so pretty? how exactly do spiders make their brilliant webs? who cares), but I remember going on a short tirade, saying something like, "This isn't even news! And it's only 6:09! Look, there is the little clock thing in the corner! 6:09!! What the hell is this?"

A moment later, the segment ended, and I learned from the graphic and voiceover that it had been "Simply Science" with Sven Sundgaard. Oops. Sorry, Sven. I forgot I am supposed to heart you. 

Public Radio

June Thomas at Slate on Public Radio's pledge drive ploys. Fun times.

Random Drizzle and Hail

Now that I have a toddler, I watch a lot of Sesame Street. I tell you this: Elmo laughs like a psychopath. He'll walk up to a baby, or to a goldfish, and ask it a question. He'll look silently for a few seconds as the baby/goldfish (quite reasonably) just sits there. Then he throws his head back and laughs maniacally. But the writers for Elmo do have a sense of irony, too (like when Elmo said "Goodbye Dorothy...and friends of Dorothy...or like when the Violin said "we're going to watch a goldfish think? This should be exciting"...or like when Elmo--whose best friend is a goldfish--acts with indignant disbelief when a friend shows up saying a rock is her friend).

I had to make an exception to my vegan lifestyle: if you can't eat pizza and chocolate during a snow emergency, why even live in Minnesota?

I'm still astonished by canned green beans. For less than 70 cents, you get a meal that is 70 calories, no fat, 7 grams of fiber, and 3.5 servings of vegetables.

My favorite parts of The New Adventures of Old Christine are when Christine/Barb share an adventure, and when Richard/Matthew share an adventure.

Now that The Twilight Zone gets saved to my DVR, I truly never have to be bored again. And let me tell you something about the hour-long episodes: they are good. Yes, they drag a bit, and don't have the snappy twists. But the longer episode allows them to explore theme deeper. "He's Alive" ends with a haunting image of Hitler's shadow moving, as Rod Serling tells us about prejudice and bigotry. "Valley of the Shadow" really opens up an exploration of pacifism, freedom, and utility.

There are also playful episodes of The Twilight Zone: in one a writer's fictional characters come to life...yet he is a fictional character too, right?...and then when Rod Serling tries to come on and say so, the writer shows that Serling is a fiction and makes him disappear. Good times. Post-modernism, baby!

That Paul Newman makes a mean spaghetti sauce. Sockarooni indeed.

I asked my wife if she thought I was the youngest male in America with Celtic Woman on my iPod. No, she said: some little boys may share an iPod with their moms.

Minnesotans all eventually become existentialists. Shoveling snow is a Sisyphus type task: not only will there me more to shovel eventually, but if you didn't actually shovel, it would eventually go away on its own. Plus we have the Vikings.

Feeling "Culture"

In some ways, being a parent of young children is like being a cheapskate: you are seriously limited in the options of what you can do. But even a parent/cheapskate can find art, poetry, and cultural enjoyment. Here are some ways.

Visit Museums. Art museums can actually be a good place for children. I brought my two-year-old to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts recently. There are big open spaces (lots of room for walking without fear of the child touching something he shouldn’t), and there are colorful pictures and big sculptures everywhere. My son walked around holding my hand going “Whoa.” Whoa.” “Whoa.” He loved it (it's surprising how much modern art is exactly what toddlers like to look at), and I got to look at art. And it is free.

Visit Libraries. A free place to go, and there are sometimes culture events going on. Most public libraries are extremely welcoming to children.

Get Netflix. If you’re raising little kids, you probably aren’t going to go to a lot of movies. Resign yourself to being six months behind and watch the movie when it reaches DVD. Being behind comes with advantages: sometimes after the buzz for a film dies down, you realize you really don’t want to see it.

Subscribe to Magazines. You don’t get to go anywhere, but while your children play on the floor in front of you, you can be flipping through The New Yorker.

Attend Religious Worship. Think about it: most traditional religious services involve performance of ancient rituals, reading of ancient texts, singing of historical hymns. There's poetry there.

Drink coffee. I go to malls once or twice a week. It’s a crass and commercial place to be, but it is a free, weather-controlled place to bring children and walk around getting exercise. And when I go there, I can get a soy latte at Caribou Coffee. And I ask you: what’s more bourgeoisie than a latte? This isn’t actually culture, but it is about the perception of culture: sitting and drinking a latte makes me feel like I'm doing something interesting.

Any other ideas?

Stop Trying to Make Me Care, Network TV

Lately, I have been finding that network television is getting more and more intrusive in its attempts to make me care about shows I don't want to watch. Stop trying to lure me into getting hooked on more shows! I don't have the time.

I have already committed to Gary Unmarried. I tune in faithfully each Wednesday to find out for once and for all, will Gary Unmarried ever learn? So far, no. By the way, Gary Unmarried is NOT a good show. It is unfunny and unoriginal and poorly acted. I should really give it up, but I have a feeling one of these weeks, it will really turn around. So, I stick with it. 

For whatever reason (maybe pregnant hormones?) I find myself getting really irritated about one show in particular that seems to want me to devote myself to it like I have to Gary Unmarried: Private Practice. I guess it has been somewhat successful, because I have seen I think 5 episodes of it, but that is just enough for me to know that I really dislike it. I assume that Private Practice has poor ratings, and since Grey's Anatomy rocks and is popular, they think a crossover is the answer.

I have nothing against a crossover in theory: for one week, we get an extension of a show we like, and as payment we have to watch scenes that will probably bore us because they feature characters and storylines that we are not invested in. It's not a terrible tradeoff, and I am usually willing to take part in it. Well, ABC has gone too far. The ongoing Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice crossover event is leading into its third week.

Yes, I said third week.

What makes me the maddest is that the first week of the "crossover" consisted of a regular episode of each show, where they had cases that were not resolved at the end of the hour and eventually (the next week) would link the two shows together. Well, thanks for the heads up, ABC! I didn't figure out that the "crossover" was phony until minute 52 (thank you, DVR) of Private Practice when Pacifist Viking asked, "Have your Grey's Anatomy people come on yet?" and then laughed at me when I said no. And by the way, all I would have needed in order to be ready for the second week of the crossover would have been one statement from Addison: "Hey Derek! My a-hole brother has a brain problem and might be dying. Can you operate on him?" That would have got me up to speed. 

Anyway, now we are going into week 3 of the crossover, and I still want nothing to do with Private Practice. Only now, instead of just not being invested in the characters, I have grown to resent them. I hope they wrap this thing up this week, because I have enough to do on Thursdays without giving ABC 2 hours of my time. I mean, doesn't NBC deserve some love too?

Send me coupons, not pleasant greetings.

I get on the email lists of any restaurants I like. I'm even a member of the Fuddruckers' Fudd's Club (they have a good veggie burger, you can load on your own toppings, and the open setup prevents a toddler from getting impatient because he can move around a lot).

Fuddruckers kindly sent me an email wishing me a happy Valentine's Day. The message says:

"This Valentine's Day, let your sweetheart know you really care with a romantic meal at Fuddruckers.

"We hope to see you soon!"

Thanks, Fuddruckers, for the greeting and hopes to see me soon. In fact, even though I don't know in what galaxy Fuddruckers constitutes "a romantic meal," my wife and I have discussed eating there on Valentine's Day (because any other restaurant can get difficult with that toddler). But you know what would have guaranteed we eat at Fuddruckers Saturday?

A coupon. A discount. Any sort of special offer. I mean, any at all. A free cookie probably would have got us into the restaurant. The pleasant greeting is not exactly wooing me.

So let this be a message to all the other restaurants that I've signed up to receive emails from: you can woo me away from Fuddruckers with some sort of coupon. Romano's Macaroni Grill, a free appetizer might do the trick. Papa Murphy's sent me some "Big Game" coupons that last through February--that might just be enough to convince me to grab some pizza for Valentine's Day (yes, pizza at home is a special occasion meal for me). Pizza Hut, can you top $3.00 off? Send me an email--I could go for a Stuffed Crust pizza for my Valentine's Day exception.

C'mon restaurants. Help me help you. Don't just send me pleasant greetings. Papa Murphy's is leading the race right now, but with a little effort and a little discount, you could be wooing a cheapskate to spend money at your restaurant for Valentine's Day.

Local Cat Lady

118 cats removed from filthy St. Anthony trailer packed with dolls and debris

Wow, a real cat lady.  That's probably not what she wants to be called.  The Star Tribune refers to this woman as an obsessive compulsive animal hoarder.  There's a lot of hang-ups that can come with OCD, but this might just be the worst kind.  118 cats.

Why do you mock me, commercials?

Perhaps you've seen this commercial where the Diet Dr. Pepper starts moving to the snack aisle of the grocery store?  When I first saw this commercial, I got giddy with anticipation.  Will there be a chocolate flavored Diet Dr. Pepper?  Yes, I would drink that.  Is there going to be a Diet Dr. Pepper candy?  Yes, I would eat that.

Alas, the commercial was merely an attempt to associate Diet Dr. Pepper with sweet desserts.  Blah.  I know Diet Dr. Pepper is sweet.  I know Diet Dr. Pepper is good.  Why would they make me believe some new, magical product would be entering my life?

And then there are the Denny's commercials, which highlight delicious-looking, tempting, desirable pancake meals, followed by the smackdown truth that these products are made up--Denny's is just offering you a "serious" pancake meal.   I just saw one featuring pancakes smothered in pink frosting and candies, then was told I shouldn't desire this wonderful thing--I'm supposed to want a serious pancake meal.  Well I don't want a serious pancake meal!  I'm not sure I want a pancake meal at all, but that frosting-smothered pancake sort of made me want pancakes.  But not a serious Denny's pancake.

Well, I don't know if I want Nanerpus:

I love sitcoms

Read about The Big Bang Theory at Slate.  

CBS is currently lording over a Golden Age of Sitcoms, including The New Adventures of Old Christine (Wanda Sykes needed a vehicle like this) and How I Met Your Mother (cleverly structured, sharp dialogue, occasionally absurdly funny).  CBS comedies are sticking with the laugh track/studio audience, and for some reason it is still working.

Half Price Books

Not only is Half Price Books a great place to get good books for...um...half price, but teachers and librarians can get another 10% off.

Dunkin' Donuts!!!!!!

Do you think I would include six exclamation points in the title if it weren't justified?

Be still my heart!  Dunkin' Donuts is coming to Minnesota!!!!!!

(I think six exclamation points is my human limit).

MPR

Teen Wolf: a story of a young man coming to terms with his changing body and evolving social identity

Coach Bobby Fenstock is the underrated highlight of Teen Wolf--with Boof, Stiles, Chubs, even Lewis, it's too easy for him to get lost in the shuffle.

This clip from the end of Teen Wolf may not be safe for work.

Frugality and You: Own a Wok

If you're trying to save money, you should to avoid eating out.  Preparing food at home saves you a lot of money: even if the actual food items you purchase cost the same (unlikely, though possible) you save money by avoiding sales tax and tip, and you can't be tempted by expensive unnecessaries like restaurant beverages or desserts.  But you still want good food, right?  You just may have to work a little harder to prepare that good food (and you can spend a little more at the grocery store on quality food, knowing you're avoiding eating out).

If you like Asian food, there's an incredibly easy way to make very tasty food at home.  Get a wok, and make stir fry.  Do you think there's some sort of challenge to stir fry?  Look at the name--the steps are pretty simple.

--Put a wok on the stove.

--Throw a bunch of stuff in it.*

--Stir.

*this may require additional work like cutting vegetables--easy but time-consuming.

That's pretty much it--you don't have to be any sort of chef at all to make stir fry, yet you can make a delicious and affordable meal.  We usually toss in green bell peppers, red bell peppers, broccoli, onions, shredded carrots, and tofu (flavoring it with just a bit of teriyaki or sweet and sour sauce), though it is flexible.  We then put that over brown rice.  Do you think I'm any cooking expert?  I'm not.  But I can cut freakin' vegetables and tofu, and I can use a wooden spoon to stir it.

A wok and you: an affordable way to eat well.

A quality sitcom

I always laugh out loud at The Big Bang Theory. It is a conventional sitcom, but with one unique feature--the primary characters are extremely intelligent scientists with socialization issues. The result is a smart and funny show. Sheldon in particular is an extremely well-written character.

The Modern World is Alive With Magic

If yesterday somebody had told me that if your house isn't getting water, you just need to run a hair dryer over the pipes, I would have said, "Away with your black magic voodoo!" And yet this morning I, with much relief, know it to be true.

When I Was Dead Broke, Man, I Couldn't Picture This...

Target is giving a $5 gift card with the purchase of ten 20oz bottles of Sobe Lifewater, which are 10 for $10.  I can deal with that.  

I've never had Lifewater, but I'm looking forward to using the gift card to buy the Notorious Soundtrack.  

Brilliant Dialogue

A witness in a case just said the following on Law & Order (and I don't think it was supposed to be funny):

"I'd put panties on every head in Abu Ghraib prison if I thought it would save one innocent life."

As my wife said, "Why would it?"

If you're a television writer, and you're writing the military officer's "ends justify the means" quote on torture, you're really going with panties on the head? That's how you dramatize the argument? That's your best move? Well played, television writer. Well played.