Cheapness Report

Our new favorite football player
When Sports Illustrated asked Ravens Linebacker Bart Scott about his cellphone ring tone, Scott responded, "Basic. I'm not giving a dollar to nobody."

And with that, Bart Scott becomes the official favorite football player of We Have Mixed Feelings About Sven Sundgaard. That's just the right way to respond.

Cheap Pop in the Twin Cities
As first sighted by A Bit More Humid, Target is currently selling four 12-packs of pop for 9$, then giving you a 5$ gift card for your troubles. I've already been there once; I will be there again. To me, there are three ways to approach this deal.
1. You are paying 9$ for four 12-packs and get 5$ for whatever you want.
2. You are paying 1$ for each 12-pack of pop.
3. The second time you do this deal, you are getting the four 12-packs for free.

Well its official, Minneapolis/St. Paul is going to host the 2008 Republican National Convention, the same weekend as the State Fair. How wonderful!!! That wont be a total disaster.

Alone in my office laughing until it hurts

Via Moncrief Speaks, I've been able to laugh my face off at Joe Mathlete Explains Today's Marmaduke.

Marathons and Money

This weekend, October 1, 2006, is the Twin Cities Marathon. I am sure many of you have no interest in running or watching running, but you should be aware that Sven will be there. He is an avid runner according to his Kare 11 blog and is getting ready for the weekend. He is even getting his calf massaged tonight. Sven is also predicting good weather. So the question is considering our abnormal interest in Sven should we be attending his local events? We already try to watch his weather coverage and keep up on his blog, but is that enough? He is often involved in community activities as a host or MC. Maybe seeing him live will help us sort out our mixed feelings?

I am looking to attend a play or musical, but of course and continually trying to live cheaply. I am not sure if it will be possible to get off to cheap in this area. The Chanhassen Dinner Theatre is showing Grease and ticket are about $50-70 including a meal. Tickets at the Gutherie are also around $50, but nothing there I am too excited to see right now. Ordway is showing Chicago in January but tickets are also around $50 a piece or more. Anyone have any ideas for a good show at a smaller price?

My Drug of Choice

No, it's not meth. Meth is gross, people. I am talking about American Idol. I am having a personal struggle, as I often do in the weeks preceding a new season of Americal Idol: do I get involved?

During season 1, we had a big group that got together every week to enjoy the novelty of American Idol (along with booze and fine company). It was awesome. I always remember that as I try to decide my fate for each new season. But here is the thing: that group aspect is gone. And the novelty long ago wore away. How many times can Simon Cowell creatively tell someone they suck and still be funny?

And yet, I still want to watch. I do this every season, and every season, I waste my life away, watching multiple episodes per week of a show it is predictable and somewhat boring, after the crappy people get weeded out. I haven't cared about who won in years, and I never have and probably never will buy a CD of anyone who has ever been a contestant on the show (I know what you may be thinking--"didn't you vote for Kelly Clarkson?" Yes, I did. But it was more anti-Guarini than pro-Clarkson).

I have come to this conclusion: either I am being brainwashed, or American Idol is like a drug (metaphorical or otherwise). I am helpless against it's powers. So, I have decided, after much deliberation, to commit myself to yet another disappointing season. Here were the deciding factors:

1. They held auditions in Minneapolis. I may very well see people I went to high school with or other people I know. That will make at least one episode worthwhile.

2. Although I always stress about keeping my evenings free certain nights of the week for shows that are on more than one night (btw, thanks for ruining my summer, Big Brother All Stars), with American Idol, it is never a problem. If you miss an episode, they will cover the results and highlights on Fox 9 Morning 'News' as if it were actual current events rather than a shameless promotion of another network show. Bastards! Sven would never do that.


For all these reasons and more, you know what I will be doing with my spare time this fall. It's a nasty habit, but I'm not ready to quit.

Cheapness, Politics, and Cold

I’ve mentioned that in order to pay my $118 speeding ticket, I intend to give up unnecessary spending, even if it means sacrificing many pleasures and going hungry much of the time, until I make it up. In six days, I’ve already not spent $18 dollars. This might be something I need to keep doing. I’m trying pretty hard to spend between two and five dollars a day on meals.

Does anybody else think that St. Paul is an extremely political town? For months it has seemed that every other property posts signs for either Fletcher or Finney, two candidates for Ramsey County Sheriff. SHERIFF! Some properties inexplicably feature signs for both Finney and Fletcher. The race we are following most closely is Amy Klobuchar and Mark Kennedy for U.S. Senate. Let’s home that Mark Kennedy’s attack ads are a sign of desperation. Frankly, we don't like any political advertisements--they merely get in the way of watching commercials for products we'll never buy.

We would have signs up in our yard, but alas, we think that would cost us some money. We support with our votes, not with our dollars, lest we no longer have a yard to not post signs in.

And yes, I’m the nasty villain responsible for Possible Flurries and Partly Cloudy and Pleasant living in a cold house. When they can’t sleep at night out of fear that they will not be able to afford the house they are living in, then they will appreciate the cold. Soon I will be weatherproofing the windows, anyway: I have the caulk. I just need a caulk gun.

Crappy Weather

So it feels like it has been raining for weeks. When will it stop? Sven give us some hope please!
Not only is it rainy but cold. And for those of us who are trying to live cheaply (or those of us who live with people who are trying to live extra cheaply) the cool weather leaves a difficult choice. Either turn on the furnace and start paying for heat, or keep the house very cold, save the money and pile on the blankets. Well I am living in the latter... I am at my parents for the weekend and planning on bringing back sweaters, blankets, and slippers to combat the cold. Of course as soon as I do this it will get nice out

Of course the term 'Crappy Weather' used in my title is purely my opinion. Using terms like this is exactly the reason Pacifist Viking hates weather men and me

SURVEY SAYS...

As I have been spending more and more days in my small little apartment, I have once again gained appreciation for the fine TV that is day-time programming. When I was younger I remember watching The Price is Right, Family Feud, and other such fine game shows. As I got older I came to appreciate Soap Operas (Days of Our Lives was my favorite). However, lately as I have been watching the TV I have noticed a phenomenon that I am not sure is entirely necessary. The level of local news programming is getting to be a bit extreme. One station in particular is guilty of overkill, they have the pre-morning show news, the mid-day news review, the 4 pm news, the 5 pm news, followed by the national nightly news, which is then followed by the 6 pm local news, then there is a nice break and we are trated to the 10 pm news. Although this station isnt guilty of this, other local stations have a 9 pm news show, in addition to their 10 pm news show. So that is a total of 6 news shows on in one day!!! What is the point of all these news shows? I understand people are always coming and going, so they might not be able to get the news at 6 and/or 10, but 6 shows?!?!?! I am not saying news doesnt happen during the day, but in the few days that I have experienced this, nothing has changed from 4 pm to 5 pm. Here is my plea... stop the insanity, dont give us news constantly throughout the day. Isnt that what CNN or Headline News is for? I miss the good old days, when daytime television was more about game shows and crappy acting then it was about what is (or isnt) happening locally.

People are talking about Sven

I was just searching the internet and found this other blog entry about Sven... (Don't ask how I came upon this) The comments to the entry are the most interesting part.
Check it out
http://www.pileofsassy.com/2006/04/20/why-isnt-anyone-talking-about-sven-sundgaard/

It's an enigma wrapped in a riddle

The real question I have: is Sven Sundgaard a cool guy, or is he an uber-dork? Seeing him on TV and reading his blog does not allow me any insight into this question. We all missed Sven last weekend, who is at some sort of conference and was replaced by the always entertainingly dressed Pat Evans. A while back he had a crazy striped shirt with no suit or tie; this weekend he had a shirt and tie decked out in purple (Viking supporter, or fan or Prince? [as a fan of parentheticals, I'm going to take this to the utmost extreme (I've always wondered if Prince, from Minnesota and obsessed with the color purple, is a Viking fan)]).

Anyway, here is one tip on how not to spend money.

Don't get a speeding ticket.
If you get a ticket for speeding 1-10 miles per hour on White Bear Avenue, you will have to pay $118. However, if you have a clean driving record, there's evidently a number you can call to try keep this ticket off your record. Let us never discuss why I know this.

However, IF you do get a speeding ticket, do not make it about a sacrifice of money: make it about a sacrifice of pleasures. For example, if you are typically really hungry after an evening class two nights a week and stop for fast food, don't. Go hungry until you get home. This could save you $5-6 a week, which goes a long way toward making up that $118. As the architect in The Matrix says, "There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept." In order to make up for a speeding ticket, just go hungry. Or, let's say you have a relatively cheap, enjoyable, but unnecessary hobby, such as collecting football cards. Instead of giving up $118 from what you have, consider the punishment a moratorium on buying football cards.

My trip out of MN

Note: Pacifist Viking has made the last 4 entries and therefore making the other contributors feel guilty. Therefore I am adding a post that really doesn't relate to Sven or living cheaply in the Twin Cities

So this past weekend I made a quick jaunt to southern Wisconsin. This was my second trip to the Madison area and I am still getting used to the area. This is Jon’s home area so he doesn’t think anything of it, so I thought maybe everyone else would find my story humorous. Actually I know (according to Pacifist Viking) I have never said anything funny in my life, therefore this probably won’t be funny, but hopefully entertaining (and you can read this for free). First of all a few terms: Pop is now soda. Really we only crossed one state, why the change? And the more time I spend with Jon the more I hear myself using this crazy term. And I also learned they don’t use hot dish, casserole instead. What is that about? ‘Tater tot hot dish’ has a much nicer ring to it than ‘tater tot casserole’ Anyway…
So my first visit to Jon’s home town about a month ago included a tour of the town. I was quite surprised to see a Pigley Wigley. Yes I have heard of this grocery chain on TV and movies, but frankly thought it was a store from the 50s and 60s that had long since moved on. Well here is was in front of me. On my second trip to this town, last Saturday I was privileged enough to make two trips to the Pigley Wigley. The first trip with Jon’s mom I just took it all in, seemed like a normal grocery store to me, nothing out of the ordinary (other than the name on the building). Then the second trip I saw something amazing. GRAB BAGS. A grocery store with grab bags. Wow, I was completely intrigued. After years of going to Crazy Dayz sales with my mom I was quite familiar with the grab bag concept. Basically the store can’t sell something so they put it in a bag with a bunch of other crap they can’t sell and use curiosity to get it out their door. But my thought was, what could I grocery store put in the grab bag, was it going to be outdated food? So after a few moments thought, I picked out a $2 grab bag at the Pigley Wigley. They also had $5 bags, but I am attempting to live cheaply.
Here it is. My two dollars paid for these two amazing items. I had to open it in the car I was so excited. First we have a Crunch candy bar with caramel. Seems good enough, although this candy bar has been discontinued. Then the prime item in the bag, the Seed Pods Sweety Pea. This includes (as written on the package) a seed pod (growing dome); sweet pea seeds, sweet pea action figure, trading card, peat pellet, and growing instructions. All for a listed price of $5.99. So the bag included product valued at about $6.70 or so which led me to a savings of $4.70. Of course the reality is I would have never bought these items on their own, so really wasted $2. But the enjoyment, that is priceless. Of course I then had to go back to Jon’s parents and explain my strange purchase, which could have been a bit embarrassing, since frankly who would actually buy a grab bag at Pigley Wigley. I think I just need to get out more.
So next time you are in the Madison, WI area make sure to check out the local Pigley Wigley, you never know what it is store for you!

(I do have a picture of my grab bag, but can't seem to add it to this post)

Monday in the Twin Cities

Twin Cities on the Cheap
Minneapolis-St. Paul is terrific place to experience culture sans money. The Minneapolis Institute of the Arts is free. The Sculpture Garden, featuring Spoonbridge and Cherry, is also free (you may have to pay to park there, though). There are a lot of theaters, and if you think rush tickets are too expensive, there are also a lot of colleges with solid theater departments. If you're lucky, you could even get invited to a wedding reception at the Minnesota History Center, which features a great view of St. Paul from the balcony, and a view of the capital from the dance floor we were on. We here are this blog enjoy getting invited to weddings: the amount of food and booze we get usually surpasses the amount we spend on a gift (not to mention the free fun experience, and, oh, supporting those we know and love as they wed).

Sexism on Kare 11.
On Friday evening, Julie Nelson and Diana Pierce were the anchors. An "Al" (I think Allan Costantini) was doing a feature on e coli in spinnage. He held up a brush, and then said to the anchors something to this effect: "Do you two know what this is? Oh, of course you both know, but for all the guys out there, this is a vegetable brush." Possible Flurries and I just looked at each other open-mouthed, both thinking the same thing: "Did he just say that?"

I suspect Allan Costantini got into TV news in the 1970s in time to say things like, "It's anchorMAN, not anchorLADY" and "I heard their menstration attracts bears."

Vikings win
The mood of the town should be good. You can read about the Vikings at my anchor blog, Pacifist Viking.

Want to know if you're not smart? TV can help.

The great Jim Rome once said, "If you don't hate reality TV, you're not smart."

Let's not go quite that far. But let's use TV to tell you if you're not smart.

If you prefer Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? to Jeopardy, you're not smart. It means you prefer about 10 multiple choice questions surrounded by a lot of inane chatter, a lot of gimmicks, and a lot of time wasting about nothing to a show featuring up to 61 challenging questions with only a little bit of inane chatter and gimmicks based on word play. Or you have a thing for Meredith. I guess that's OK. Maybe you're not stupid.

If you're one of the people responsible for making Two and a Half Men the most popular comedy on TV, but you've never seen an episode of Arrested Development, you're not smart.

If you ever preferred Home Improvement to Seinfeld, you're not smart. It means you prefer conventional structure, male stereotypes, and a guy grunting "OOHH, OOHH, OOHH!" to the perfection of comedy that is Seinfeld.

I don't think we need any standardized tests. We should just give kids a sheet of paper and tell them to list down their favorite and least favorite TV shows. The answers will tell us if they should go to college.

Also, if you think I'm a jerk for writing this, you're absolutely right and righteously indignant. To calm yourself down, just enjoy the photo of Sven Sundgaard from his bio at Kare 11. The soothing good looks of Mr. Sundgaard should bring you inner peace and freedom from anger at my hurtful words. He soothes me whenever he tells me about storms, hot weather, and goats.

Sven Sundgaard, Burgeoning Gay Icon?

Like all relatively heterosexual men in the Twin Cities, I spent part of my Saturday morning paging through the new issue of Lavender, the Twin Cities free gay themed magazine. Whose face should I suddenly see but Sven Sundgaard's! He will be the Celebrity Game Show Host for the Carnival of Life, which is brought to us by the Aliveness Project (Aliveness Project? That can't be real, can it? Doesn't it sound just a bit too much like The Human Fund?). The Aliveness Project, according to its web page, is "a community center located in South Minneapolis that provides services and programs to the HIV/AIDS community."

Lavender is one of the sponsors of the Carnival of Life, which you can read about at the Aliveness Project's homepage.

I like to think that I have better things to do than to speculate on who is or isn't gay. And of course I have a long-standing "Not that there's anything wrong with it" policy. But Sven Sundgaard seems to have the look to be a burgeoning gay icon. If it weren't $100 a ticket, I'd consider going to the Carnival of Life to check him out (please see this blog's subtitle). Being a gay icon, of course, doesn't necessarily mean a person is gay.

What I hate about weathermen and what I hate about you

The Weather People
I hate that when TV weather people are forecasting the weather they use all sorts of subjective terms for the weather. Days that are hot or at least sunny get called "nice" or "good" or "great." But I don't think sunny days are great. I like rainy days, cloudy days, colder days. So I have to get used to listening to the weather and filtering everything they say into Bizarro Languange.

You
You probably use poor grammar when talking about weather and temperature. Temperature is an objective measure of kinetic energy in the air and cannot therefore be hot or cold; temperatures can either be high or low. Weather is subjective, so it is up to the speaker to call it hot or cold (but not high or low--that's senseless).