I don't really want to spend a bunch of time, money, and effort making an elaborately creative Halloween costume. Hell, I didn't even dress up when I went to Revenge of the Sith. However, I'm more than willing to put imaginative energy into a costume.
For example, one year I wore a Hawaiian shirt with the top two buttons open and said I was a bookie. On Saturday I wore my peace sign shirt and said I was a Berkeley student. Tonight I might wear a Titleist hat and say I'm my dad. And then there's the old Craig Kilborn joke: "Guy shows up at a costume party with no shirt on, somebody says, 'What are you?' and he says 'Premature ejaculation: I just came in my pants.'" That's good comedy.
So put a little imagination into a costume that requires no effort at all. Keep a cigarette in your mouth (even if unlit) and say you're a Bingo player. Wear a stocking cap the entire time and say you're a person standing outside. Really, the possibilities are endless, and you just might get to make offensive jokes in the process.
Any other ideas?
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I'm going to wear a cordoroy jacket and say I'm you. I will then proceed to talk about the Vikings, mercury in fish, and how I forgot more about basketball than you ever knew.
ReplyDeleteBurn! That's the sort of cool dry wit that is making you the premier fantasy football emailer.
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